Got Catheter?

The X Dose! (Jokes that make you say “*#@%”! Since 1996!)
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Riveting Medical Gore Footage

Here are some funny things orthopedic doctors have been known to say:

* “We might not make it better but we can sure make it different.”
* “If you scrub twice as fast, you only have to scrub half as long”
* “I’d rather be lucky than good”
* “Nothing spoils a good result as quickly as follow-up”
* “This is hard enough to do when it’s indicated, let alone on a case like
this”
* “I’ve cut it off twice and it’s still too short”
* Which hammer do you use for these screws ?
* “One way to make sure a humerus doesn’t heal is to operate on it”
* “Orthopaedics is the specialty of complications”
* Bleeding always stops
* The orthopaedic surgeon — Strong as an ox, and TWICE as bright!
* The two ends of a humeral fracture will unite as long as they’re located
within the same room.
* If you’ve half a mind to do orthopaedics, you’re over-qualified.
* The modern holistic approach to orthopaedics…..you don’t JUST treat
the fracture, you treat the whole bone!
* An orthopod is someone who can bench-press his own weight and spell
cefuroxime.
* Pass the micro adjuster nurse!
* And finally just on more little tap with the hammer and …….
* Just think of the movement at your ankle fusion site as a bonus.
* Shortening can be an advantage you know, he won’t run off now, he’ll
just circle around.
* It’s only a five minute operation sister.
* It’s much more urgent than any possible general surgical case!

Source: Submitted by Fran Weasley The X Dose

censored and banned warner bros movie poster

The X Dose! (Jokes that make you say “*#@%”! Since 1996!)
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Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs

Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs wuz walkin’ down da street.

One o’ dem dwa’ves nudgez da dopey one and says, “Yo! Dopey! There’s Coal
Black’s husband, Pimp Chaaaaamin’-muthafucka, coming out o da florist’s
wiff two dozen roses. Damn if that don’t cost some serious loot! Betcha
he’s been sneakin’ on to da other lot and he’s been tappin’ dat Cinderella
bitch and her sister Lateesha!”

Coal Black, overhearing her ebonically-advantaged Dwarf friend describe
the goings-on of her happily-ever-after lifemate, shrieks, “Damn! That
means I’ll have to keep my legs up in the air for three days!”

“Why?” asks Dopey, confused. “Don’t you get a vase?”

Source: The X Dose

The X Dose! (Jokes that make you say “*#@%”! Since 1996!)
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Cut-Offs, Indeed

After all the publicity, Lorraina Bobit recieved after the trial, she decided to move to Russia and changed her name to Lorraina Cutacockoff.

Source: Submitted by Lillith Handy

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And if you were looking for some cleaner laughs, head over to our amigos at The Daily Dose for the funniest editorial cartoons and top ten lists you can tell your peers, your kids and even your grandmother.

Cheers!

The X Dose! (Jokes that make you say “*#@%”! Since 1996!)
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Johnny sleepwalker

A 70-year-old man named Johnny went to the doctor’s for a physical. The
doctor ran some tests and said to the man, “Well, everything seems to be in
top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection
with God?”

And the man answered, “Oh me and God? We have a really tight bond, he’s so
good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns
on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.”

The Doctor was astonished. He called Johnny’s wife and said, “I’d like to
speak to you about your husband’s connection with God. He claims that every
night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and
turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?”

And she said, “That idiot, he’s been peeing in the refrigerator!”

Source: Submitted by Flipp Laffitoff

The X Dose! (Jokes that make you say “*#@%”! Since 1996!)
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Redneck’s trained cow

Q: How can you tell if a cow is well-trained by her redneck?

A: When she can suck his dick and chew her cud at the same time, and know what
to spit and what to swallow!

Source: The X Dose

Made ya laugh, eh? Well then Share it and have another.

And if you were looking for some cleaner laughs, head over to our amigos at The Daily Dose for the funniest editorial cartoons and top ten lists you can tell your peers, your kids and even your grandmother.

Cheers!

Made ya laugh, eh? Well then Share it and have another.

And if you were looking for some cleaner laughs, head over to our amigos at The Daily Dose for the funniest editorial cartoons and top ten lists you can tell your peers, your kids and even your grandmother.

Cheers!

Made ya laugh, eh? Well then Share it and have another.

And if you were looking for some cleaner laughs, head over to our amigos at The Daily Dose for the funniest editorial cartoons and top ten lists you can tell your peers, your kids and even your grandmother.

Cheers!

Made ya laugh, eh? Well then Share it and have another.

And if you were looking for some cleaner laughs, head over to our amigos at The Daily Dose for the funniest editorial cartoons and top ten lists you can tell your peers, your kids and even your grandmother.

Cheers!